Christmas, that magical time of year. Magical, as in I finally get to order a bunch of magic stuff! My wife gave me a budget for Christmas this year and told me to figure out what I wanted. Upon informing my wife that I had placed an order for $155 worth of magic stuff she quickly chastised my reckless purchase.
"What's the big deal," I exclaimed. The order was well under my $200 gift budget. Come to find out, she really didn't mean to go and actually purchase what I wanted. Apparently, some of that budget was already allocated for things I "really" wanted like underwear and a new belt.
I foolishly thought that the remaining $45 would go towards other magical essentials; like a couple dozen Bicycles or some silks. After getting the "voice" (you long time married guys know the "voice," a tonal quality somewhere between disgust and fury) and the evil eye (you don't even have to be married to know that look), my wife told me that the remaining $45 had been already spent. Probably on socks, steak knives and an Old Spice gift pack.
But my woeful tale of Christmas' magic gifts doesn't end here. Oh no, it doesn't end. Yesterday, a little box from labeled Penguin Magic showed up at my door. My wife, in all of her Christmas wisdom, decided that she must immediately wrap my gifts and place them under the tree with a joyous little sticker that says "Don't open until x-mas!"
I doth protest this Christmas injustice! It's not like I don't know what's in that box. I argued that at least I should be able to keep the free promotional items that I received.
My next argument was simple and logical. I must inspect the shipping manifest to determine whether all magical items and apparatus were accounted for. Only one who truly knows magic, can account for all of the mysteries held within that little cardboard box. She bit on that subtle misdirection as I palmed a DVD into my breast pocket. Well, something like that happened.
My wife had acquiesced to my infallible logic. She said, "Okay, but just the free DVD." Now I had to make a quick decision. Think, think. I only get one so which one shall I tell her is the free DVD. Of course, I knew well that the free DVD was "Brian Tudor's Extreme Generation," a highly rated DVD treatise on extreme card manipulation.
Now Extreme Generation is the "Lemony Snicket's Series of Unfortunate Events" of magic DVDs. You don't really want it, don't order it, it's too hard, you can't do it, remove from cart now. Did I want that as my only source of new magic until Christmas morn? Hell no! Think, think.
After a few hasty milliseconds of indecision, I lunged for the "Double Take by Gregory Wilson" DVD. My DL needed some attention and this DVD had some routines I could actually show-off at Christmas dinner with the in-laws. "Yep, here's the free DVD!" I proudly exclaimed as I snagged the treasured DVD.
So far I am happy with my split second decision. My basic DL is so much better and I've learned a couple other DLs that will be an awesome addition to my arsenal of finger trickery. Although my appetite for magic is temporarily sated, I yearn for Christmas morning when my nimble fingers tear into a cornucopia of new magical knowledge and wisdom.
There is a lesson to be learned here - don't wait for your magical Christmas gifts to come to you - spend early and often before well meaning spouses or parents buy you that cool Scooby-Doo Chia Pet.
On The Spot with Gregory Wilson (DVD)
Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah and a Festive Festivus!
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